Sunday, July 3, 2011

Too many grapes

I can't exactly pinpoint the events that sparked this dream, and I'm not even going to try.


A bunch of assorted friends and I are out for a quick meal at a small, seemingly sketchy restaurant which just so happens to have an open buffet and salad bar, which is delicious. There is a waitress standing next to me as I load my plate with pineapple. I assume she's some sort of salad bar bodyguard, which is the only rational way I can explain her actions.

I proceed to grab a bunch of grapes, and this waitress breaks into bloodcurdling screams about how I had taken too many grapes. Enraged, I scream back that I had only taken the bunch, and load the grapes onto my pineapple-laden plate. The waitress then whips out a fork-knife and a knife-fork*, which may look similar, but are, in fact, very different tools.

She then chases me around the restaurant, and to my dismay, no patrons even attempt to help. I manage to escape onto the roof of another building, which is covered in ice (because if I had gone out of the normal entrance, the waitress would have found me and killed me). There is a miniature Eiffel Tower on this roof, which I grab on to stop from falling, although on two occasions I nearly slip off the roof. I manage to get down off the roof safely.

The following day, I have hired bodyguards to ensure that I don't get killed. I am safely placed into a van, where I am told that the volunteer work I am doing is now sponsored by Zellers, whose name has recently been "modernized" to Z-dot. I am instructed to don the bright red Z-dot shirt as the van sits parked in the playground of an elementary school.

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